Years ago I used to have a pocket calendar from Hallmark. Unlike conventional calendars, in Hallmark Land it seemed like almost every other week there was some one or some thing in need of a celebration and, more importantly, a card. Grandparent's Day. Nurse's Day. Flag Day. Secretary's Day - - actually, I don't even think it's called that anymore because you know, only girls are secretaries; it's Administrative Professionals Day now. I remember as a kid wanting to celebrate these days so badly, if only to be innovative, but when they finally rolled around I'd all but forgotten them - - probably because they're not real.

On the website, the first thing Hallmark has to say about Sweetest Day (October 18) is that they did not invent it. I thought that was funny. Nike didn't invent child labor either, but they sure profited from it, didn't they?

Of course, none of this is to say Cinco de Mayo isn't a real holiday. It is real. And it's cool. Also, try saying it out loud: first like a Columbian drug lord and then like a sultry vixen: Cinco de Mayo. Either way, it sounds like it could be the name of the next Johnny Depp project (and thankfully, not the name of a certain ride at Disneyland).

I caught a bit of an interview with Billy Corgan the other day. He said that when he decided to start up a new band, a lot of people tried to talk him out of dropping the "Smashing Pumpkins"name. But Billy, all Zen-like defensive, explained that Zwan is basically Where It's At right now - - all holding hands and smiling into the camera while they rock out and shit - - because music legends like Lennon (and by extension the Beatles) were ultimately about peace and positivity and never sang about the world being a vampire 'sent to drai-ee-aa-ee-ain'. Of course, he never said that last part, but I know that's what he meant.

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