Saturday night I described my dream guy and Annie, in the true spirit of friendship, vowed to "hook it up" if dream guy were to ever cross her path. Tonight on the subway ride home, true to her word, she nodded in the direction of the guy sitting across from us and whispered "Hey? How about him? Do you want his number?"

As I half-wondered if my description wasn't thorough enough, I scrunched up my nose and answered "No" - the same way I did in third grade when Emmanuel accused me of having a crush on icky, obnoxious David. Funny enough, the man in question gave me the same nasty look David did during recess and I'm sure if he could, he too would have pushed me to the asphalt and sat on me.

I must remember that people are listening even when I don't think they are. But more importantly, I think Annie must learn how to whisper.

One night my parents came home from a party with a glow stick. Having never had one in my possession before, I thought it would be fun to sneak into my grandmother's room and wave it in her face, making ghost noises while she slept. She finally woke up whimpering, pushing at the sheets in search of an escape. I tried to apologize five minutes later, but I could still hear my brother at the door, trying in vain to choke down his laughter.

I am so going to hell for that.

Me: “Nice? Oh my God, he is like the biggest bitch in the world.”

Her: “Really? I thought all gay guys were nice.”

Me: “I’ve always thought gays were known for being catty.”

Her: “ ‘Gays’? Um, okay. When did we start generalizing?”

Went out for drinks with friends. Am somewhere between sober and drunk. Leaning towards drunk. But not like the last time. Nope. No stamping of the feet, no blurtations of life long secrets, and only minor attempts at banal mothering - you know, "Oh my god, you're drunk. Don't throw up. Throw up in here." Only an itty witty bit of that.

But dreadlocks guy at next table was puffing on a pipe, old school style, and now the hair reeks of smoke.

Call me crazy, but I don't think blurtation is a real word.

Whenever I read the title of this blog, I think of that Weezer video where the band is playing with those cute little animals and part of the chorus sounds like hiccups. "Hep-hep".

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